Bonding with Parents: Bonding With Your Parent After the Loss of Another Parent
As long as I can remember my mother was like my best friend. I could talk to her about anything that I was feeling. We could joke about things and laughed all the time. Spending quality time like going to the mall, shopping, and going out to eat were always special to me.
When I was 11 years old my mother passed away unexpectedly days after mothers day. My mother's death was hard to cope with. It felt unreal, like I was in a dream. I remember going to my 5th grade graduation and feeling sad because all I wanted was my mother. My father was always present in my life. He was a hard worker who provided for my family and loved us all. He worked so much to provide that when he came home from work he was often tired and exhausted.
After my mom passed it was just my dad, my older brother who has special needs, myself and my little sister. I had to learn how to have a relationship with my dad now that my mother was no longer here. Like most dads, having a relationship with him was difficult because he worked so much and wasn’t friendly like my mother. He used to say all the time, “i'm your father not your friend.” After about 8 to 9 months however we noticed that our dad would talk to us more after work and ask us about our day. He was becoming a bit more friendly, something we needed. This helped to begin the process of bonding with our father and helped us to heal from the pain of losing our mother. Now, at 15 years old I can honestly say that my bond with my dad is great and i'm happy that I am able to have a good relationship with him.
It can be hard bonding with a parent after the loss of another parent. However, there are things that you can do to help bond and get to know each other better. Here are a few things you can do that my father and I did to bond more:
Remember The Good Times
One of the things I used to do with my dad is to talk to him about all of the good times with mom. We would laugh and the good memories brought us closer.
Take a Quick Trip
He would take us to New Orleans to spend time with family. This can be refreshing and help you to take a break from your regular routine to enjoy life.
He started taking us shopping and spending more quality time with us. He understood that spending time with us was just as important as providing for us financially.
Start New Traditions
My mother used to have her family come over all the time to visit and we would have cook outs and family fun days. After she died they didn’t come around as often. My dad decided to start a new tradition by inviting more family twice a year where we sit at the table, eat and fellowship with one another. It is now something that we look forward to every year.
Diamond Adams is a 9th grade student from Baton Rouge, Louisiana.